Expectations.

               I’ve had a week to reflect back on my day trip out to San Francisco to visit one of my close friends I seldom see. It was a fun little diversion in the midst of everything else going on in life. If pressed, I could come up with a million things to talk about from the trip. Instead I’ll focus on one thing that was simply mentioned in passing because it applies to me on multiple levels at the moment.

               Interactions between any two people (be they old lovers, old friends, or plain ole strangers) are framed by their expectations. It’s true, expectations aren’t always the topic of open conversation; many feeling it is negatively connoted. However, it must be a prudent, pragmatic, person to know what is expected of them; moreso to know what they expect of themselves. Equally important is the knowledge of what they expect of others. That said, I’ve rarely (if ever) been accused of being prudent and pragmatic, but that’s a discussion for another post to cover…or not.

               Can we ever rightly or reasonably expect anything out of others? Are we entitled to those expectations? What of the opposite; can two people have between them, “no expectations?” I suppose the best answer to that is, it depends. Complete strangers may find it quite easy to expect nothing between each other. What about old friends? Or, more scandalously (and titillating), old lovers? In other words, can two established friends have no expectations of the other?

               I suppose a good number of unconventional relationships these days thrive on the hope of no expectation. Arguably, shared expectations may be interpreted as a form of “no expectations” wherein there is no (perceptible) difference in expectations between the relational individuals. In an unorthodox relationship, the shared expectations of fun and enjoyment without any of the guilt (haha) or other more adult hallmarks make for a good time.

               The anachronistic and more traditional amongst us, may take a different view. A traditional approach to this quandary may simply dismiss the idea of having “no expectations” as vapid and ridiculous in the context of a mature adult relationship. They may argue that a shared set of expectations is just as important to a fulfilling relationship as the shared experiences that define it.

               So, what of all this expectation rigamarole? Well, I stand at a precipice, wherein the management or mismanagement of my expectations may take me down very different roads. And in considering how to proceed, I've bandied about many thoughts on the subject, with the two previously listed being the most prominent.

               Is a serious, adult relationship more fulfilling than a fun, guilt-free one? What makes an adult relationship, adult? Heck, can an adult relationship be fun and guilt-free? Ultimately, that depends on the person considering such things. Like me!